Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Improvements

My house is usually chaos. 90% of the time someone is wining about something, someone needs their hands and face washed, someone wants a drink, the dishwasher/washing machine/dryer is beeping at me, something needs to be cleaned up all while I'm trying to get the boys to do some kind of task. Homework or get dressed or clean up the toys etc etc.

I seem to manage constant chaos pretty well... but sometimes (okay, a bit more than I'd like to admit) I go into screaming banshee mode. I'm pretty sure that I look similar to this...


or maybe this...


In that moment, I go from calm mumma to angry mumma. I forget that the boys are just little. Easily distracted. It usually happens when I'm asking someone for the 4th or 5th time to clean up the cars or put their shoes on. Then I snap and start yelling and the jobs get done quick smart.

This is not the way I like to run my home.

I immediately feel defeated. I wonder to myself why I have to yell to get them to listen to me. It's almost always followed now by an apology for yelling and an explanation for why I did yell. As a parent you are constantly learning new things and realising mistakes you are making. This is what makes us better parents. I just hope that as I realise these things I haven't damaged the boys or I'll be a broke mumma with therapy when they are older.

A week ago I started a technology ban. The boys are no longer allowed to watch TV or play the iPad/3DS from Monday to Thursday. It was a big change for them. There was some whinging and a few tears when I would say no but they no longer ask and they have been playing together much nicer. Watching a movie the other day was a treat which was funny. They were so excited. Also I love hearing them outside playing together! Pitty about all the dirt that gets dragged through the house now but I'll take that over bickering kids.  It's really made a big difference to their attitudes and helpfulness.

A few days ago I implemented some Happy House Rules. They live on the fridge. After I'd printed off a couple of copies we sat down and had a talk about the new rules and what they meant for everyone in the home. I explained that if they chose not to follow the rules, that was their choice. However if we want to have a happy house we ALL need to make some changes. 

The rules are pretty basic things, but things we all occasionally need reminding to do.




I am pleased to say it's working. The first couple of days I'd pull them up by saying "I think you're forgetting one of our house rules" and they would go have a look and tell me which number and we'd chat about it. It seems to be getting through to them and it's good having it visual so it's a nice reminder. I also have to follow the rules.

So this morning was our first real breakthrough day. The boys all got up and Chase made all the kids breakfast, they all got dressed, the bigger 2 helping the little 2 while I showered. They helped make their school lunch and all got their shoes on. Then Chase stacked the dishwasher and Jaidan wiped the tables. Ashton was given the job of picking up any toys he could see on the floor. We left the house, on time, without me having to yell once (or think about yelling), and with half the amount of housework to do when I got home. Amazing!

I hope this continues because my stress levels today are zero and I'd like to keep them as low as possible.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The weight has been lifted!

In May I had to defer my exam. At the time, I had a lot going on. In a temporary home, dealing with insurance, no internet to study, having no possessions... it was all overwhelming. So I deferred my exam which wasn't an issue.

I fell behind in the next study period. I asked if it was possible to catch up, it was only week 5 and I was sure if I got stuck into it I would be okay. The university told me that it would be unlikely that I would catch up. They told me the unit I was doing was extremely time consuming and I should probably drop it. If I chose to continue, and couldn't catch up, I would get a fail on my record. This was really hard to hear. After a week of trying to decide what to do, I dropped the unit. 

My deferred exam is creeping up at the end of the month. So I started to get organised. Then it hit me, that in all of the madness in May I'd forgotten something. I had deferred my exam, but I hadn't finished the weekly topics. I was still 2 weeks behind! After calling the university I was told I couldn't complete the topics, and if I couldn't complete the topics, I would fail the unit regardless of my exam grades. After spending hours on the phone trying to find someone with a kind bone in their body, who wasn't just following processes, I got some good news. I would have this month to complete the topics, and study for the exam!

So this week I've had my head in a book, studying from 9am until way past bed time. But I did it. Yesterday I was so determined to nail my topic test, that I spent 9am to 2pm studying for the 5 straight hours. Then I went out for dinner last night, came home and got stuck back into it and passed without one error. I was so happy!

All on course now for passing this unit! Which is the biggest relief. I slept well last night. 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

My Focus Eludes Me

Title says it all really. I am meant to be studying. I have an upcoming exam in 3 short weeks and after a short break while we moved and settled into our new house, I'm back on the study horse and can not focus! The little ones are at their day care centre, the big ones are at school, so I have no distractions (except Facebook of course).

All I see is a blur of numbers.



I'm really excited to get this part of my study over and done with, and move onto the next study period. Which, if I remember correctly, is where I start the psychology! Yay!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

New Beginnings

With new beginnings comes a new blog.

A blog about me. My journey as a mother, a student, a friend, a neighbour, a sister. About my loves, lessons, downfalls, emotions, passions and opinions. A place to share my stories, share the ups and downs of life and share my thoughts.

So let's start at the beginning and work from there.

Me. I answer to Missy, Mel, mum, oi, waaaaahhhh and occasionally bitch. I'm usually found with at least 1 (but usually 4) small child attached to an arm, leg, back or neck. I will almost always have my camera around my neck. If it's not, it's within reach.
My days are spent unglamorously cleaning up poop, wiping grotty faces, wiping spills, sweeping up mess, making mud pies, creating the next Mona Lisa with finger paints, loosing at Junior Scrabble or reading about green eggs and ham.
My nights are very predictable. I am usually doing one of a few things. Reading a book, at the moment it's ones about Vampires. On the computer on Facebook, reading a blog or studying. Laying in my incredibly comfortable bed watching whatever show or movie I happened to be interested in at that moment. Occasionally, the geek in me emerges and I jump online and play a game called Lord of the Rings Online. I've never read the books, I've haven't made it past the first 30 minutes of the first movie, but I do enjoy playing the online game.

Up until June of this year I lived in cold, wet Tasmania. Beautiful, but cold, cold, cold and did I mention cold? Now I live in sunny WA. Where winter days are filled with sunshine and temperatures that would make any Tasmanian envious on a summer day.

Sad circumstances brought our little family to this beautiful part of Australia. It was a scary move, which has been full of blessings. We moved with our suitcases and 2 boxes. 1 was a vacuum cleaner, the other was full of what remained of our most cherished possessions. The small amount of photos we had left, some charred at the edges. Some school work and merit awards addressed to my children which I'd proudly kept, now covered in soot. A crystal bowl I'd received from an aunty when I turned 21. The smallest pair of rainbow coloured shoes that have been dragged through at least 10 relocations, and are now 28 years old. A few other bits and pieces that I have since thrown away. I'm still unsure why I packed some things of no importance and brought them the 3000+ km to our final destination. What was an extremely stressful and upsetting time, has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I believe everyone has a path in life, ours led us here.

We love WA! The boys are so happy here. The change in them has been amazing. They have always been fairly happy children, but they have really emerged from their shells and embraced the biggest change in their short lives to date.
J8 has always been a reserved little boy. Happy and content, loving in his own ways, but never overly affectionate in a physical way. Since our move he is snuggly, loves a cuddle and a kiss, shows more interest in his smallest brothers, and a lot more patience and love towards them when before were just pesky little midget terrorists.
C7, A3 and E2 are still as happy as ever, just more settled and really enjoying each new adventure we go on.
They are all really loving the fact that now we have family around. Before we had friends, but no family. Now we not only live in the same state as their aunty and uncle, but we only live a few blocks away! Each day is met with at least one small boy asking if we can visit their aunty and uncle, and even if we just pop in to say hi, it's often the highlight of their day.
I love it here. I love my sister and brother in law. I love my WA friends. I love the sunshine and the crazy WA rain storms. I love the atmosphere here. I love the small things, like having a Rainbow Lorikeet sit 30cm away while I'm sitting in the sunshine reading a book. I also love being able to walk down the street and not know one single person which was unheard of in the small part of Tasmania we came from.

So here is where our new beginning starts.